She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
