If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
