Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
