i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
