I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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