I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
