You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
