dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
