So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize
