To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
