I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
