If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
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