I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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