return my video game
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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