What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
These tits shall not be calmed
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
