yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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