Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
