Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
