We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
sex in a hospital.. check
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
