no, he came in my armpit
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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