Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
