I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
