Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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