remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
