ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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