her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
