what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
