Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
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