I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
