I molested 6 butterflies tonight
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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