Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Randomize
