dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
The struggles of a small town man whore
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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