chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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