I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Randomize
