Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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