I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Randomize
