I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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