I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
