Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Randomize
