hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Randomize
