Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
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