I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
