next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Randomize
