i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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