His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
