Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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