She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
