This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
