lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
They have beer where we have blood.
Randomize
