Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
