I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
NoShamevember. You game?
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
